So you said yes, now how do you pay for it?

So you said yes. You’ve gotten a ring and picked out a date. So what know? If you’re like most Americans, now may not be the time to spend $35,000 on that fantasy wedding. But don’t let budget restrictions stop you from having that romantic and intimate venue that you've always dreamed about. You can still pull off a dream wedding for under $5000.  The key is stepping up and thinking outside the box.

To start, make a list of your “have to have's”. If you have to have an outdoor wedding, then write it down. What are your food choices going to be? Are you dead set on certain colors? These are just a few ideas to get you thinking, I’m sure if you are most like most brides, you will already have an idea, just make sure you right it down!

Now, the fun part shopping, smart shopping but still shopping!




Dress shopping can be stressful, the cool part is, it doesn't have to be. The first thing to remember, shop around! Utilize on-line search tools, visit multiple stores, and don't be afraid to go and sit in Hastings lounge with a bridal magazine, notebook and a pen. When in the dress shops, ask for any specials that may be running, such as free tuxedo rentals with a purchase of a bride’s gown. Or free flower girl dresses with any bridal gown purchase. If no specials are currently running, ask them to make one for you. Don't be afraid of asking for a better deal. Once you have found “the one”, that dress that you know will make him swoon, and you the belle of your ball, right down the style number and do a little comparison shopping. No impulse buying, your overall budget will thank you in the end, who said looking good had to cost a fortune.


Location is just as important for your wedding venue as it is for a new business. You know the old saying, location, location, location. Even on a budget you can have a fantastic, central location. For an outdoor ceremony, complete with built in flowers, contact your local Parks and Recreation Department, they can let you know what parks and nature trails in your area can be rented. These locations can also be some of the least expensive! If your looking for an indoor/outdoor setting, try calling local Bed and Breakfasts, most welcome wedding parties. Frequently these venues will provide an array of services including, table and chair rentals, decorations, and picturesque landscapes. Most churches, or non profit organizations will for a nominal fee allow the use of their buildings, and more than likely include chair and table rental cost. However, flowers and decorations are probably all on you.

Make invitations through the mail, a thing of the past. With today's technology, wedding invitations can be done through your email, or personalized wedding site. Wedding email templates can be found with a simple Google search, or create your own using pictures of yourselves, and your wedding location or theme. The few people who will have to a paper invitations, like mom and grandma, can still have the copy for the fridge. However gone are the days of spending $500 for professional invitations. Most office supply stores will have a wide assortment of paper and envelopes, buy a small batch for under $50 bucks, you'll make mom happy, and save room in your budget.



The fantastic food, and elaborate cake you've dreamed of, can also be done budget friendly. Ask your caterer to create your cake, or have it included in the package, by combining all the aspects of the meal, you can save reduce the number of venders you'll be worried about the day of your wedding. Instead of a four course sit down meal, provide your guests a beautiful display of finger foods. If your local college has a culinary arts program see if they provide catering services. You can get fantastic food at discount prices by letting culinary students prepare your finger foods and possibly even an ice sculpture or two. Another idea would be to call a professional caterer and see if they offer any discounts, in this day and age everyone is suffering, try asking for a deal, it doesn't hurt to ask. Check with the chamber of commerce and see if they have any new restaurants opening, using a new place can be beneficial for you and the restaurant, you will get great food, and a reduced rate, for giving the new folks a try.

If your list of must have's included fresh flowers, or floral arrangements. Make a trip to the nearest flower market, available in most larger cities, and well worth the drive. Here, you have access to a wide variety of flowers, and flower farmers. Get a few cards, and see what kind of deal you can get, straight from the grower to you, is better than wholesale! Consider silk flower as an option, silk flowers can be bought at any home decorating store in bulk, saving you time and money. Whatever you do, keep your design simple, incorporate other elements to add color and fill. Such as colored fabric, laces and ribbons. Get creative.

A picture says a thousand words... There are 2 things to remember when looking for a photographer to capture your special day, first, find someone you are comfortable with and second, look at their portfolio. Make sure their style is what you are looking for. A great deal is only great if the picture last your lifetime. Ask your friends who have been married recently who they used for their pictures, or check with your local college to see if they have students able to fill your need. Look for semi pro photographers, these folks don't need to earn their living shooting pictures, and in return you get more reasonable rates. You don't have to pay a fortune for those captured memories.





My last piece of advice, don't be afraid to ask for help. Ask both sets of parents, siblings, friends, and neighbors for extra assistance, you never know what talents they have hidden up their sleeves. Maybe your aunt knows a great amaturer photographer, or a caterer who is just getting a business started. With some creative thinking your dream wedding is within you and your budgets reach.

Live as if your success was inevitable, and so it shall be.

When in doubt, show up early. Think less. Feel more. Ask once. Give thanks often. Expect the best. Appreciate everything. Never give up. Make it fun. Lead. Invent. Regroup. Relax. Risk it all. Smile.
And live as if your success was inevitable, and so it shall be.
JB

I came across this phrase today, The email it was sent with simple,

Kristin,

“How are things, I haven't heard from you, you should call”.

John B

When in doubt, show up early. Think less. Feel more. Ask once. Give thanks often. Expect the best. Appreciate everything. Never give up. Make it fun. Lead. Invent. Regroup. Relax. Risk it all. Smile
And live as if your success was inevitable, and so it shall be.

I didn't write back, but I have contemplated the email, it's words and it's meaning. I'm sure this isn't his signature for all emails, was this message meant for me? I decided to break it down.

When in doubt show up early. Always be on time, the early bird get the worm mentality, punctuality is key. That I get. I admit I haven't been very diligent in being on time lately. Be early, not just in time, but early. OK, that one I could work on.

Think less. Is this like trying to hard? When my company was sold a few months back my new boss had told me not to try so hard. But when was trying to hard a bad thing? I thought giving it your all was what you were supposed to do, especially when you are trying to impress a new boss, who doesn't know your work ethic or skills. But are you supposed to be cool, calm, collective, and able to bust your ass, all without breaking a sweat, or making it look like your working to hard?

Feel More. Feel what. Lately I feel numb, and useless. What was I supposed to feel? I wanted to feel important, like I had 6 months ago, when Lonnie and I ran the show. When people called to talk to me, when I was the center of a really freaking cool world. Where I felt like I belonged.

Ask Once. I'm smart, I normally only have to ask questions once, but what was I supposed to ask? Who was I supposed to ask this of? What was I supposed to ask?

The more I broke the signature down the more confused I was.

Give thanks often. Thanks, I had said this word often. Thanks to my parents for filling my tank with gas, and letting me shop in the grocery store of mom and dad. Thanks to my friends for being right back at my side, after I had ignored them over the last year. Giving thanks was something I could do. And I would try and do it a little more often.

Expect the best. This one is hard to swallow, I used to always expect the best but I seem to work hard then get the shaft. So was I supposed to keep expecting the best and not see anything from it? Keep seeing the glass as half full. Keep being positive, and expect the best for myself. I want the best, but how was I going to get it? Just expect it and it would come?

Appreciate Everything. I do appreciate everything, And I don't expect anything to be handed to me. I work for what I have, and appreciate everything I'm given. So maybe thats it, expect the best but appreciate what you have.

Never give up. This one might seem self explanatory as well. But is it that easy, to not give up. What if you don't have a choice. What if the choice to give up isn't yours? What do you do then? Do you still continue pushing ahead even if you know the outcome will remain he same. When is enough, enough.

Make it fun. Done. I could make anything fun. Heck I made cleaning my sisters apartment fun. Having races up and down the walls with bleach filled sponges. Making it fun was just living life. This one I had down. Laugh, Love, Live. The three L's to live by. It made life fun.

Lead. I've always been able to lead people, whether while being the president of my 4-H group, or in charge of sales for a company known worldwide. Leading seemed to come to me naturally. I enjoyed it! I thrived for it. Leading I could do. But where could I do it at? My first task needed to be to lead myself, leading myself out of this pity thinking and back into the take charge, kick butt, get names mode.

Invent. Like inventing the wheel? Inventing doesn't just mean being like Thomas Edison and inventing the light bulb. It meant to think outside the box. To come up with those ideas that no one else thinks of, that no one else dares risk trying. Inventing in this sense could lead to brilliance, it could lead you to get noticed. Inventing now seemed key.

Regroup. After regrouping, one normally moves forward. Taking that time out for ourselves. A little reflection time, time to think about what you've done, how you've done it, and why it was important. Regrouping seems to be what I have been doing for the last 4 weeks. But I've spent so much time feeling sorry for myself, that I haven't used my time to move forward.

Relax. Breathe. It was only a job. It didn't define me. It didn't make me who I was. I was already great when I came to them. I made them better. Not the other way around. I needed to relax, breathe, and remember why I was great.

Risk it all. One couldn't just sit back and wait for things to come, nor can one only give something half the effort deserved and expect it to succeed. If I wanted a new job, a new purpose, I had to risk it all. I had to grab life by the horns, I had to roll the dice till I got snake eyes, I had to risk it all if I wanted to get anything in return.

Smile. No explanation was needed here. I needed to keep on smiling and loving life. It doesn't matter how crappy, I think things are, you have to smile. And live you life.

And live as if your success was inevitable, and so it shall be...

The more I look at what John wrote, the more I think I get it. I just have to be me. The hard working, smiling, go getter. A person who doesn't expect things to be handed to me because I think I deserve them But someone who expects the best, because I work hard, and risk it all to be successful. I need to live successful, because it is inevitable that I will be. I think I'll go and write John a response I didn't have anything to say before, but I think I'm better now.

Who bleaches apartment walls these days?

About now my youngest sister, a senior in high school, is relishing in the freedom of being the only child at my parents home! I wonder if my parents are secretly doing little jigs around the living room counting the days till she leaves for college. The big day came last week, Nicki, her husband and one a half year son old moved into a townhouse not far from my parents house, but slightly farther than I moved the first time. Finally free of the burden of living between his parents house and ours, for their first place, it's perfect. 2 bedrooms upstairs, and an open living, dining and kitchen down. They had been saving for this moment for over a year, but walking into their place for the first time was a shock for the ages. You would assume renting from a reputable local agency, the kind of place that takes your deposit up front, before you're even allowed in the door, would make sure the place is in respectable renting condition. I guess someone slacked on this one. Nicki had asked if I could come by for the walk through, I assumed for moral, lassie dog, support, but maybe it was in case she needed a pit bull?

The place was a mess. It looked as if it hadn't seen a mop or a broom since 1992. The unit was supposed to be non smoking, but the burns in the carpets and yellowed walls spoke otherwise. The stove, and dishwasher were broken and unusable, the cutting bored was smeared with dried strawberry jam. It was disgusting. The agent showing us the unit, paid no attention to the filth, mentioning only that he hadn't seen the place in the 2 weeks it had been vacant. The threshold molding from the vinyl in the kitchen to the carpet, was bent upwards, walking across it barefoot would have been as bad as walking across broken glass. Nearly all the closet doors hung broken, a hefty shove required to get them closed. The vertical blinds covering the sliding glass door, open and shut, but wouldn't turn. I was astonished. I knew who the owners of the four-plex were and couldn't believe their property had slipped to such slum lord conditions. Nicki, she was ecstatic, never mind how much cleaning we had to do. She had a place.

Operation “Bleach it”, started in the kitchen with a narly smelling bleach and water mixture. Nicki, armed with the right hand of an industrial cleaning glove and a sponge. Began bleaching everything from the walls, to the cupboards and then the floors. Shelly, willing to do anything to help Nicki move, began in the dining room, the left glove, sponge, and bleach water her defense against the yellowed walls. I showed up about 20 minutes into operation “Bleach It”, armed with Home Depot orange buckets and an extender rod poll with a sponge on the end of it. I was all set to work on the vaulted ceilings, when Shelly decided we needed to switch jobs, she was taller than me after all and able to get all the hard to reach places. Nick's two sister in law's were armed with Windex and paper towels, their task; every piece of glass and mirrors were to be de-gunkified. I vacuumed and resolved every carpeted surface while the boys, tackled the broken window blinds, which were replaced by brand new drapes hanging from a clean rod. Four hours later, our eyes were burning, our hands were wrinkled, BUT the walls were white, and the place sanitary.

While in our cleaning frenzy, the locksmith dropped by for his visit, after changing out the locks, he told my sister that he hadn't seen anyone clean an apartment before moving in, in years. He seemed especially shocked at our bleaching of the walls. His comment made me wonder, do people not clean when moving into a new place? Do they just assume that the rental agency has taken the prior tenants deposit, hired a cleaning company, and actually cleaned the place. Or do people not care what germs and grossness could be living under there feet. I guess the only thing I can say, is Bleach it, you won't be sorry you did, but can you imagine the yuck if you don't.

Are decoder rings for life still available in cereal boxes?

Humans, the interesting and complex creatures we are; might one day find ourselves at a hypothetical roadblock. An obstacle that seems so challenging, that forging ahead means driving through raging waters, hurdling tall buildings or possibly hoofing it on foot, through a blizzard, up and over canyons.

I started writing to vent my frustrations about life. One might construe my new “screw that” attitude, as anger; maybe I was. Angry at things that never seemed to go my way, like getting a new car, only to hit a deer on the way home from the dealership. Or maybe, my anger hadn't started until my former employer sold the company I loved working for, or was it when the new owners, who said they were going to keep me, relocated the company headquarters 2400 miles away; Or could it be when they laid me off? In the most hard hit economic times America has seen in almost 30 years. More years than I’ve been alive! Maybe I had just had enough and was angry about it all or could it be that I was just disappointed?

Writing just seemed easier than discussing the issues, a way to reassure myself, things will get better. Sure, I have people to talk with, confide in, my friends and family are terrific, but conversations quickly turned to “seriously Kris, everyone is on unemployment these days,” like it’s a cool thing. Followed by comments, meant to make you feel better, “with your skills you will find a job super fast” and even a couple, “welcome to the real world kid.” Oooh but my favorite “relax; just think of this as a vacation”.

That was 4 weeks ago.

Vacations over!

Boredom has landed for a visit!